Dreading for the future.
I hate it when they make fun of my baby. He is not a “thing”. My baby is a blessing. He is our own flesh and blood. He has a life of his own. He is helpless at the moment to even decide and understand what he should feel about what other people call him. I know that maybe it was meant to be a joke, but not all matters are to be made fun of. I ignore insignificant comments especially if i am greatly unhappy about it.
I am currently staying with my mom. My cousin, who was also pregnant, gave birth to her baby this noon. Unfortunately, her baby died. The umbilical cord must have suffocated him or he already died even before coming out because my cousin said this morning that she could not feel her baby anymore. She is still admitted at the hospital at the moment while we are waiting for the baby. Her only wish now is that she may be able to see her baby before he’s buried. :(
He was a first-born child.
Mark and I broke down last night when we talked over the phone. We were so dead worried about our baby. I told him that i could not bear seeing our baby inside an incubator. It is not how i wanted it to be. I want him to be alongside his buds, waiting to be taken home. I do not want to see him struggling. I also told Mark that i can endure this pain for our baby, as long as it would mean that he will be okay. I do not mind being bed-ridden and having almost no sleep from all these aches, just as long as he would not come out earlier than expected. It is now proven that parents would sacrifice their everything for their children. This is how it feels like. I would sacrifice everything i have just to bring him in this world, without him having the need to struggle. My baby does not deserve that. It should be all on me. I cannot fight back the tears from falling. I really feel broken.
Guys, please pray for my baby and I. Sa October pa due ko pero sobrang mababa na si baby. 3cm na. Di pa ako ready manganak kasi hilaw pa daw ang placenta tsaka matigas pa daw ang kwelyo. I don’t know what that kwelyo is pero please do pray for us. Three days na ako hindi makagalaw nang ayos dahil sa hypogastric pain. Kung after two weeks at wala pinagbago ang nararamdaman ko, i will be admitted sa hospital. Natatakot ako. Ayoko maging premature ang baby namin. Hay. May the Lord help us. :(